We created Elements of Pride to be an inclusive guide to the "elements" of our community. With over 65 gender identities and sexualities, we are much more than the LGBTQ that has been used to represent all of us for so many years. As a reminder, you can find the definitions of all of the elements of our table starting with this blog post. While we researched and created the table, we found ourselves in many of the elements.
Melissa:
I primarily identify as queer and non-binary. However, looking at the definitions of these elements has allowed me to more closely examine my feelings about my identity. For example, I say I'm non-binary because I don't feel like I'm male or female, man or woman. Until I discovered the term non-binary, I always said, "I'm just me!" But, because I don't identify with any gender, I fall into the "agender" group which means someone who identifies as genderless or gender neutral. There's a new (to me) term called "neutrois" which means one who is indifferent towards gender or experiences a lack of gender. I actually feel more connected to that term because, as I said above, "I'm just me!" I don't express my gender identity with the intention of looking or feeling like any gender. I am largely indifferent to gender, wearing clothing that I like and doing what I like without a thought about which gender it appears to be.
I also considered if I ever feel like a man, woman, or any gender. The answer is that at times I do feel closer to a female identity. I was assigned female at birth so I was raised as a girl, socialized to be a woman so I align myself with women and women's issues. The vast majority of the time, however, I exist in the "neither nor" space which I call non-binary. To me, that means that even though I am married to a woman, we are not in a "same gender" relationship. I wouldn't call it a lesbian relationship - though I do know that some non-binary folks do. I'd be interested to hear from them what their reasoning is. In any case, my relationship with my wife would, according to the table, be called a diamoric one that refers to the attractions of non-binary people that can't be described as "same gender" or "other gender".
Stacy:
Much like some people in our community, my elements have changed over time. Coming out in the 90s, I only had a couple elements to describe me. Lesbian / Bisexual. As I got older, I dated people across gender and sexuality "lines" and calling myself Lesbian or Bisexual didn't quite fit anymore. Queer was starting to become more common in our community, and that's feel most comfortable to be just me!
What are your elements? Do you see yourself in more than one? Did you learn any new terms that apply to you? Let us know in the comments!